"Alright, we're getting real and we're getting there on a rocket slathered with quantum KY lightning. Most of you have probably noticed that this year has been a dumpster fire from the jump. For those of you somehow blissfully unaware of this year's fuck-you-parade of trials, tribulations, treachery, and transcendental trash-fire, here's the hits: total lock down resulting from a virus that so far has killed less people than the common cold (before you shit out your eyeballs in rage let me point out that "cases" are not deaths), massive power grabs from the richest people in the world, government bailouts of lobbyists and corporate interests while the rest of the nation can barely pay rent, unemployment bouncing like a dead cat between 15 and 10 percent nation wide, more white police shooting unarmed black citizens, riots, lots of riots, the peaceful takeover of a police station in Seattle, the creation of an "autonomous zone" that was like watching San Fransisco from 1960-1972 at quantamphetamine speed, wearing a mask is now a requirement, 5G (no judgement either way, not yet anyway, but it happened), the blatant disregard of the will and welfare of the people by those in charge, nothing new there but they took it to a new level of depravity when they let the 600 a week that was coming from the federal government lapse so they could all have a vacation at their favorite pedophile ranch and ponder new and exciting hot sauces with with to grease the assholes of the American public upon their return. That about bring us up to speed for whats happening here in the good old U-S-of-A. Elsewhere there are drones patrolling beaches and giving out massive fines to those depraved souls that dare venture out with a companion for some fresh air, entire countries have shut their borders for the rest of the year, and a general pervading sense world-wide that we are living through the buildup of some sort of dystopian cyberpunk film as we lose more and more of our rights under the guise of protection. Sound about right? Those of you that have persevered through the above shall now be rewarded for your depravity: it gets worse. Merry Christmas.
The pervading space weather this year has been the worst in recent history. By "space weather" i am of course referring to the planetary movements, positions, aspects, and alignments that, whether you believe in them or not, do indeed effect things in this increasingly viscous cosmic duck pond that we call home. Around March, as mentioned above, the whole world ground to a smoke-yellowed-nails-on-a-piss-warped- chalkboard-full-fucking-stop, a crushing, cacophonous, and calamitous halt, and those same planetary nails are about to retrograde right back to that same piss-warped chalkboard with some spicy additions that will cause us to look upon the rest of this year as tomato paste in comparison. Basically we get the same malefic gangbang in Capricorn that started off 2020 on such a pleasant note with the addition of a voluminous fuck-tonne of volcanic lubrication courtesy of a very strong and retrograde mars in Aries making a hard square to the whole shebang. Slather all that with the Creator of whatever this is that we're living in choosing this year to end the Saturn-Pluto cycle's 200 years of Earth and switch to Air and you have the worst planetary porno of our generation playing in 4K on every screen in the world until late December 2020. If you would like further, more expert, and infinitely less vulgar information on all this pop over to www.austincoppock.com and check out his summary of the year; it is spectacular ("stellar" being low-hanging starfruit) as is the man himself.
What's the good news? I hear you ask from my heavily fortified aluminum foil bunker. The good news is this; in January, 2020 will be over and if we survive to spin the yarn, we can tell our irradiated grandbabies through their four superfluous ears that we did indeed live through it and that we were tougher and smarter back then and they will coo lovingly and wriggle with tentacled-abandon. The other good news is that with the increasing levels of chaos and instability present as the bloated corpses of useless bureaucracies are incinerated in the liquid hatred raining down from above, a certain amount of personal freedom will be restored to those of us who are willing to risk safety and the comfort of old systems and official reality to get it. I am truly optimistic that after being passed through the chaffed asshole of this year we shall emerge, bloody, exhausted, and laughing as the world burns and is reborn. Things will be different next year, for better and for worse, enjoy it; dance in the fires of the institutions that no longer serve us. We are perched upon the precarious precipice of a peculiar new cycle so make like the fool; grab a bag and a tune to whistle, start walking, and don't look down.